a gift from someone who knows me very well 
A BIG three foot by five foot BRAND NEW canvas is a splurge I would not have given myself so close to Christmas. Who has the time to “waste” painting. I have classes to teach, articles to write, stories to pitch, laundry to do, kids to shuffle around and a host of other life stuff to attend to – nonstop- I am also trying to include the three girls of my friend who recently passed away into our life. The youngest is spending the night again tonight …. hear me clearly, I am not complaining, this is an honor…but it is also a constant reminder. Not just of her sudden departure, but of all the friends I’ve lost- and what I did not do in response then, out of sadness, fear, insecurity and a sense of insignificance
-regret reigns supreme-
 this time though
I have been forcing myself to choose love, action, change, growth….
but couldn’t quite find the spark.

thank you. i completely forgot the spark was found at the end of my paintbrush.

While I ‘paint’ and create all week – as an art teacher and writer, there is something entirely different about painting just for me – for the deep part of me that was lost in the piles of life.

To paint is to love again, and to love is to live to the fullest.”
~Henry Miller
the first layer of gesso and paint was applied with my terribly neglected palette knife an hour ago
or should I say, “tool formerly known as palette knife.”
It will now and forever more be referred to as The Magic Wand
note, the finished piece will not be gold and purple
 I just plan on applying layer after layer until the deep magic has done it’s work
Painting isn’t an aesthetic operation, it’s a form of magic
 ~Pablo Picasso