Hmpf, so this is it

So, this is the prompt – Wednesday, October 12, 2011

“If your life flashed before your eyes, what are 5 moments you know would be included?”

I let this question simmer all day, again, not really sure of what to say. The question seems to imply that those 5 moments flashing before your eyes (as in, you are getting ready to leave this earth) would be of Major Importance. Significant, meaningful times that perfectly sum up your life.

Well, I have been in situations where it was entirely likely I was not going to live to see another day and in every one of those times my mind didn’t race, it didn’t flip through the channels of good times gone by, it just went, “hmpf, okay then.”

And I am not being dramatic when I say, near-death experiences.

Without going into too many details, I was in a car accident that sent me flying into a row of mature pine trees. I sort of figured I was going to die when I was mid-air, before my face went through the windshield and I tasted bark mixed with blood, I simply said, “oops”….and I had an instantaneous discussion with God. I think it consisted of one word. “God.”

Another time…well, no, I won’t talk about that on this very public blog. But I will say not a single event flashed before my minds eye. I was a little concerned about what would become of my journals and I remember wishing I was less fragile, but everything else that was spinning in my brain was future-minded…as in, “now what?”

I’ve written about my corneal pregnancy, discovered because I did not want to miss the Indians game, (I had great tickets), the baby was growing on a major artery- the doctor gave me very grim odds of surviving the surgery….and as I sat there waiting for my turn in the operating room, I was calmer than calm. So calm the nurse who came in to administer medication assumed I was already taken care of. (and when she found out I didn’t have any sedatives, wondered if I just didn’t understand the severity of the problem) I did, but that wasn’t going to stop me from shrugging and smiling and chatting with my visitors.

Recently I was sitting in a building downtown, waiting for my appointment. It was one of those places where you hold your purse tightly and do not make eye contact.

I had a book on my lap and was busy falling into the character’s exciting lives when a loud noise – like a gun shot, or a bomb – went off in the room behind me.

Did my life flash before my eyes? did I think of anything of significance? did I even consider taking cover under my chair like the very large man to my left immediately did….no.

I thought to myself, “hmpf, so this is it.” and closed my book.

….no gun, no bomb, it turned out to be a stupid heavy metal box had dropped on the tile floor in a cavernous room.

(a funny little aside- the big fella on the floor got up…. and didn’t make eye contact… with me. ) ha

But I was proud of myself, happy I stayed so calm, went back to reading my book and then practically whistled out of the building later. When I told my son what happened and how all I thought was, “hmpf, so this is it”….he was not at all impressed. Why didn’t I take cover, what does, ‘so this is it’ mean anyways mom?

I don’t know what that means.

It must be deer in the headlights syndrome, just when you’d expect a soaring heart rate, mine practically flat lines.

No worry, no fear, no grasping at straws…just hmpf. it is what it is.

although….on the flip side I can be like a squirrel on coffee when faced with other emergencies –

but, can guarantee those aforementioned 5 moments do not have a chance to pop their heads up when I am in emergency mode.

now, this picture has no significance, just came across it while looking for the coffee poster.

and this one, I am a sucker for pics of waving animals

Take care

Posted in art