Just a hint, a heads up…like Dylan said, times they are a’changin. As usual, facts are sketchy, but there is a strong feeling that the ground under my feet is going to shift again. Just like the ominous clouds rolling in once again, I can almost see a hint of something on the horizon. I would be scared, if I wasn’t such an adrenaline junkie.
Over the years I’ve ran from change, forced change, had change jump out of the bushes and scare me….this time I think I’ll try throwing out the welcome mat and invite change in for tea.
I am not good at cards, pictionary-like board games, charades or guessing games of any kind…I am easily distracted by hints, thrown off course and sent down a rabbit trail in my mind. One thing leads to the other…and then another, rarely getting back to the truth. I can get lost in the possible connections, pull together completely unrelated subjects and turn facts upside down and inside out. Not bragging, this is not really a useful skill.
But, knowing there is something stirring, brings the color back into life. Good change, bad change, strange change, it almost doesn’t matter. Even the very worst changes in my life come with treasures….treasures that can only be found in the darkness. Like this poem by Adrienne Rich, I can find something good if I look hard enough.
There is a ladder.
The ladder is always there
close to the side of the schooner….
I go down…
I came to explore the wreck…
I came to see the damage that was done
and the treasures that prevail….
That’s what she said…..now here is one of mine….
when instinct kicks in
does she know this is it?
the life she knew will not be there when she comes back
does she know?
left in the dark
does she dream?
there’s little left but dreams
visions of the future
nightmares of the past
i know the life i had won’t be there when i come back
the life, the name.
gone without a trace.